Polo Limericks

Just remembered these limerick poems from when Todd was getting material together for his Polo article in Elephant mag...thought they were pretty funny and worth saving.

London Polo – By Horatio.

There is this one guy who looks like a baby, but isn't. And has really whispy beardy bits. Looks like a bit like an asian wolverine. Except he has crazy stretched ear lobes. And we call him hoser. He also invented bike polo - before he went to India for four months. He also lives on a boat. And in a past life he was apparently one hell of a golfer. And ping pong player. But that was when he wasn't busy grading papers. He speaks Spanish fluently, but his English has not so good. And his girlfriend loves nothing more than yelling his name as loud as possible on the court side lines. He also has the magic key that lets us play polo all night long. He was possibly the grumpiest player at Shoreditch, but he claims that was because he was distracted about his imminent move to Australia. Where we all hope he goes back to - or at least the states. Then we wouldn't have to stare at his bobbing ginger quiff on the court while he takes fucking hard shots 3 feet away from goal. At least he has a brake now. I mean, seriously. Guys. Guys.


Cosmic3 – By Max

His beard is so awesome it could move stars,I heard he once nutmegged a car,he befriended our saviour, our prayer writer.then came a wise man with gold,and as they grew tighter,they all became cosmic jedis.